Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

A cynical and witty approach towards terms on an old work which has an expired copyright.
It gives us a glimpse of human nature and its truths.

Here's a few choice cuts.

ACCOMPLICE, n.
One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
ACCUSE, v.t.
To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
APPEAL, v.t.
In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
BIGAMY, n.
A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
BRIDE, n.
A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
CORPORATION, n.
An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
EXCEPTION, n.
A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. "The exception proves the rule" is an expression constantly upon the lips of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought of its absurdity. In the Latin, "Exceptio probat regulam" means that the exception tests the rule, puts it to the proof, not confirms it. The malefactor who drew the meaning from this excellent dictum and substituted a contrary one of his own exerted an evil power which appears to be immortal.
HABEAS CORPUS.
A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.
JEALOUS, adj.
Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
JUSTICE, n.
A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
HAND, n.
A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
HAPPINESS, n.
An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
HATRED, n.
A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
PARDON, v.
To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
PATIENCE, n.
A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
PRECEDENT, n.
In Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases. As there are precedents for everything, he has only to ignore those that make against his interest and accentuate those in the line of his desire. Invention of the precedent elevates the trial-at-law from the low estate of a fortuitous ordeal to the noble attitude of a dirigible arbitrament.
RECONSIDER, v.
To seek a justification for a decision already made.
UNDERSTANDING, n.
A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

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